Shelby Oaks Review

A group of YouTube paranormal hunters goes missing, and then 12 years later, the sister of one of the missing girls receives a very startling clue that could lead to finding out what happened to the team and who… Or what is behind their disappearance.

Disclaimer… I actually gave money to this project a while back when it was on Kickstarter. The film was made by Chris Stuckmann, a YouTube reviewer who I’ve been watching for a very, very long time. So no matter what my final thoughts are, I’m happy he got to go live his dream and make a film. He’s proud and happy with… Good for you, Chris. 😊

My favorite part of the movie was at the beginning when they present the movie like a documentary about the paranormal team and all the media surrounding their disappearance; that was set up very interestingly and felt very authentic in capturing the look and feel of “The Internet in 2008.” I’m sure Stuckmann’s time on YouTube was quite influential and helpful with this part.

I was impressed with Chris Stuckmann’s direction; he’s very good at setting mood and building tension, not to mention getting some interesting and unique shots. You can tell he was influenced by M. Night Shyamalan & The Blair Witch Project, but he still manages to give the film his own style and feel.

I liked both actresses who played the sisters, Mia and Riley. Their sisterhood was the real heart of the film, and both actresses were really strong and convincing at being scared. I spent most of the film looking freakishly paranoid, so props to them for the work they put in.

The cinematography was very cool and impressive for such a low-budget film. I also really like the filming location. I’m not sure if they actually used an abandoned town like the one seen in the movie, but if so, it’s a really creepy and unique location that really adds a unique feel to the film.

Keith David has a cameo; I'm always happy to see him pop up.

There is a husband character that Mia has that felt a little underdeveloped; the characterization made sense for his purpose in the movie, but I do feel like it could’ve been fleshed out more and added a bit more dimension, but I think that’s more of a nitpick on my part than an actual gripe.

So I would divide this movie into three parts, and I’ve already said how much I like the first half. The second half goes more into Mia investigating clues and following leads, and this part can get a little repetitive. It’s still entertaining and keeps my attention, but after a while of watching you, Mia, walking around creepy quiet places, looking scared, and investigating strange noises, you start hoping she finds another clue soon.

I was really surprised with Robin Bartlett’s performance as Norma; she plays a creepy old lady in the woods. She takes what could be a very stereotypical role, and with the help of Stuckman’s unique direction, they’re able to make this character stand out amongst other creepy old ladies you’ve seen.

So the third act… I’m seeing a lot of people are mixed on it, and I kind of am too. You can tell Stuckmann has a lot of ideas, and while they’re interesting and I like the final ending, it feels like too many ideas that should’ve gotten more development and kind of leaves the third act feeling too overstuffed.

I have a weird nitpick… At one point a character gets blood splattered on their face, and we cut to hours later, and they still haven’t washed it off… Like, I don’t know anyone who’s gonna get somebody else’s blood on their face and be like, “Nah, I’m cool.” 😂

Another big theme of the movie is motherhood, which sort of works into the film, but I thought could’ve been a little stronger. I’m going to see what he was going for, but he didn’t connect with the rest of the story as strongly as I thought he could.

The special effects were quite effective, and without swelling anything… I liked the look and how Stuckman shot a particularly creepy thing.

So here comes the hard part, my rating… Because I like this guy, I want to see him succeed, but I also have to be honest with what I saw. So my honest take… I think Stuckmann is a strong visual director. He’s obviously very creative with his ideas and presents them in unique ways in some sequences. But his writing could use some improvement, not necessarily with characters, but more with plotting and pacing. But you don’t have to hit a home run your first time up at bat, and I can say Stuckmann at least gets on base a few times with his scares and storytelling. I give Shelby Oaks three stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️. But again, I’m happy he got to make the movie he wanted to make, and if he gets another chance, I’ll definitely check his next film out.

And before anyone asks, yes… I was Stuckmannized. 😂

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) Review

 

After making sure one of their grandfathers’ graves wasn’t disturbed, a group of friends falls victim to a family of cooky Texan cannibals.

One of the biggest elements that makes this film such a classic is the overall tone and feel of the movie. It’s shot on such a low budget and has such a greedy, scrappy feel that it feels like you’re almost watching old family movies that went horribly wrong.

The group of friends may seem stereotypical by today's standards, but you can definitely see their influence on future character archetypes in slasher films. Interesting characters, our brother and sister Sally and Franklin Sally may seem stereotypical at first, but when things start getting wild, she really knows how to sell the fear and must’ve needed a lot of cough syrup to soothe her mouth after all that screaming. 😂

Franklin may come off as a bit loud and overly talkative to some people, but I feel kind of sympathetic for him, and I understand his loneliness, and he is the only character who seems to think something creepy is going on.

But let’s talk about the most iconic thing about this movie, Leatherface himself… I like this movie. He’s not a surgical slasher, like going around trying to get teenagers; he’s really just trying to get food ready for his family, and you can kind of feel his frustration and nervousness about lying to not upset his family… It’s an interesting take for a character who wears people’s skin as his own face; it’s just something you didn’t expect and adds an interesting wrinkle to him as a character.

For a movie with the title “Chainsaw Massacre,” there isn’t a whole lot of blood and gore for the film.

The rest of the cast is good and strong for unknowns; my favorites are the father-son team of “The Cook” and “The Hitchhiker.” They’re so authentically cooky and creepy, while also being kind of funny in a sitcom way. Plus, at the climax, when things are really going off the rails, their almost “Sanford and Son” banter adds an uncomfortable aftertaste to two already insane scenes.

I love the cinematography; I can’t think of another movie that captures the hot and sizzling feel of heat like this movie does.

I saw a behind-the-scenes documentary that they went to a local veterinarian and slaughterhouse to get the bones for all the crazy furniture and art pieces, and whoever put them together was really creative.

The soundtrack is very odd, but in an intentional way that really helps emphasize the craziness of the situation and the characters.

I quite enjoy the pacing; it had a good buildupand quite the explosive payoff.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a true “lightning in a bottle” film; it captures a true feeling of insanity and wildness unlike any other film, it has enjoyable heroes and fun and iconic villains, and it has an ending that will stand the test of time. I give the film five stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️. It works too well; there’s a reason I’ve never been to Texas… I mean, cannibals are one thing, but that heat—now that’s too much. 😂

Creepshow (1982) Review

 

Written by Stephen King and directed by George Romero, we get six short horror stories told in an anthology in a tribute to EC horror comics of the 1950s… I’ll review each segment on their own.

Wrap-around story: nothing too complicated about the story, but it’s got Tom Atkins just being the most “Tom Atkins” he can be, and that’s a lot of fun. Plus, I also appreciate how between each story we get these little cartoon vignettes that look like you’re reading the pages of an actual Creepshow comic, and all the little ads and details are very much on point and are a nice touch to the film.

Father’s Day:

A rich eccentric family gets together on the anniversary of their great aunt murdering her father, unfortunately… Dad’s coming for dinner.

I think the segment has the best directing in the whole movie. I really like how George A. Romero plays with angles, colors, lighting, and even different shots in the same screen… Not to mention one of the coolest-looking zombies I’ve ever seen, I just love how sticky and stretchy he is, while also being very decomposed but well designed in an almost cartoonish way.

The yuppie family are pretty over-the-top, but in a fun, winking kind of way. Plus, Ed Harris in an early role is there as the niece’s new husband, and he brings a grounded element to the segment, and he’s a good “POV” character for the audience.

Another standoutis Viveca Lindfors's performance as great aunt Bedelia. She’s very cranky and bitter as she drives around like Mr. Magoo, but there’s a vulnerable sadness and hollow regret to her that makes her very sympathetic, while also having this dark sense of humor to her… And did I mention she probably has like five minutes of screen time? She definitely does a lot with her short time, which is very impressive.

I’ll use this opportunity to mention how throughout the movie at certain parts they’ll make the background look more like a comic book panel when someone is scared, and it could be surprising at first, but it’s actually pretty effective at recreating the tone of reading a comic, and it’s just a strong visual in general that I enjoyed.

The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill:

A farmer finds a meteor, touches it, and then has a strange green grass-like fungus grow on him.

Now this is either people’s favorite segment or least favorite segment, and it’s for the same reason… Stephen King’s performance. Look, I admit the first time I saw it, I thought it was very over-the-top and silly. The way he bugs out his eyes and plays the most broad hillbilly you’ve ever seen in your life… But the more times I watch it, there is, like, a simple charm to it that is fun and an intentionally winking, silly kind of way.

It’s a very straightforward story, mostly played for laughs, but when it gets serious, it’s actually pretty effective, so I got points for pulling off that total turn.

Plus the way they made grass scary was actually kind of effective, and I liked the color of the grass, very bright and vibrant.

Something to Tide You Over:

A sadistic millionaire confronts the man who he believes is having an affair with his wife.

I can never pick if “Father’s Day” or “Something to Tide You Over” is my favorite segment of the movie. This segment is definitely the most grounded and probably the most disturbing, mostly about what happens and how awful that would be, but what really makes this segment is Leslie Nielsen’s performance. For me, I grew up watching him in the “Scary Movie” sequel, where he’s a very silly and buffoonish character, so it was quite a surprise watching him in this and seeing how threatening and intimidating he is, despite his character always staying calm and charming. He takes his “straight man” skills that are so effective for his comedy and is able to use them for a very chilling performance, playing just one of the biggest scumbags you’ve ever seen in a movie.

Ted Danson plays the wife’s lover in an early film role, and he is very good at playing not only scared but also trying to figure out how to deal with this crazy madman… His character does make some pretty dumb decisions, like, why would you ever do that, but it’s for the story, and I have to admit there is a very nice payoff, so it all worked out in the end.

I use this opportunity to mention how Tom Savini did the special effects for this movie, and it’s probably some of his best work. All the different creatures, gore, animatronics, and all that stuff are top-notch and some of his most creative work.

The Crate:

A college professor gets mixed up in a dangerous discovery of a creature… And decides to use it to help solve his marital problems.

I do think this segment could’ve been trimmed; for me personally, it runs a bit too long and could’ve easily cut 10 minutes out of it, but it still has a lot going for it.

I like the creature design; it rides that line between a brutish monster and kind of cute perfectly, so it is sort of intimidating when you see it, but you could also see it being turned into a plushy 😂.

Hal Holbrook He’s always solid and brings a lot of gravity to the role.

Adrianne Barbeau as Billie is one of the more broad characters in the movie; like, they go so out of their way to make her annoying and rude that it feels a little much and can definitely lean into cartoonish at times… I do think Barbeau’s overall performance is good, but the writing could’ve been better.

I will use this opportunity to say I overall think Stephen King did a very good job at making a fun, spooky, and nuanced story, but man, he swears worse than a drunk sailor in Vegas… Maybe that’s why he writes so many books and options so many movies; he must owe a fortune to the swear jar. 😂

They're Creeping Up on You!:

A greedy, germaphobic business mogul must do battle with cockroaches in his high-rise apartment.

E.G. Marshall plays Upson Pratt, and he is just the most bitter miser you’ve ever seen; like, he makes Ebenezer Scrooge look like Mother Teresa 😂. His character is just so slimy. You just can’t wait to see him get his, so it’s a very effective performance.

There are some surprising camera choices in the segment that I thought worked in an interesting way.

I do have to say, if you have a thing with bugs and especially cockroaches, and you can’t deal with them… Do not watch the segment, like at all; this will give you nightmares for a couple months lol.

Overall, this film goes with Halloween a lot like Halloween candy… It may not be good for you and is stuffed with excessive calories, but when you have it during this time of year, it just hits the spot perfectly. Not to mention, as an adaptation of something from a different form of media (book to movie), this is one of the better adaptations I’ve seen as far as honoring the source medium while also adapting to the screen.

I give Creepshow a very high four stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️. Also, I didn’t know where else to put this, so let me just say to end on a positive note… Ed Harris is a very funny dancer 😂.

The Black Phone 2 Review

Four years after the first film, Finney and Gwen are still dealing with the emotional trauma of Finney’s kidnapping by the Grabber… until Gwen has mysterious dreams that relate to a Christian winter camp, her dead mom… and the ghostly return of the Grabber.

The biggest compliment I can give this movie is the performances; everyone in this movie gives a fantastic performance.

Mason Thames brings a lot of nuance to his character, playing Finney as very conflicted and emotionally rattled in a way that is both frustrating and understandable at the same time, which feels very real.

Madeleine McGraw definitely steals the whole movie. For a 16-year-old, she brings a lot of emotion and vulnerability to the role. Like, I hope this girl is OK in real life because her ability to cry on command is very impressive and a little eerie lol.

It was nice to see Jeremy Davies and Demián Bichir pop up in this; both characters bring a warm, grounded realism to the story that brings a lot of emotion and liability to the film.

Ethan Hawke isn’t in the movie a whole lot, but he always brings gravitas to his roles, and I really like the design of the grabber in this one—kind of a frozen zombie look. It’s very interesting.

Another character in the film was Ernesto, played by Miguel Mora, Gwen’s friend/love interest and the brother of Robin from the previous film, who was Finny’s friend and the last victim of the grabber before Finney was taken. I did not realize they were played by the same actor until after the movie, so I have to give him some points for fooling me lol.

Arianna Rivas plays Mustang, and she gives a fine performance, but her character felt very underwritten and has nothing really to do except “be a cowgirl.”

There are these two older Christian counselor characters that felt more like characters than actual characters, like the actors did a fine job, but in a movie filled with nuanced performances, they definitely felt like they were just there to be victims of the grabber… Which they aren’t even really, so their characters feel out of place and are just really there to add to a “Stephen King crazy Christian” trope.

I did really enjoy the dream sequences and how they look like 8 mm film. These are probably my favorite sequences, and while I’m sure Freddy Krueger could sue for copyright infringement 😂, they are some of the best “Nightmare on Elm Street” type sequences we’ve had in a long time, so I got a kick out of that.

I do think the movie runs a bit too long; like, they could’ve cut 10-20 minutes, and the movie would’ve felt tighter. Plus, the dream sequences do get a little repetitive after a while.

A small nitpick I have is the way Gwen's dialogue was written; it felt inconsistent… Like in some scenes she uses a lot of 80s slang all at once, but then never again in the rest of the film, and she uses very colorful swears at people, but they feel a bit overwritten, and she never uses such colorful language in her regular vocabulary. You can tell the writers were having fun with how creative and nasty they could get with these curses, and it did add some comedic moments, but again, if she had used the 80s slang and swears a little more often instead of specific scenes, it wouldn’t have felt as chopped up as it did.

The filmmakers did a good job re-creating the 1980s. Granted, I wasn’t there, so I wouldn’t know, but a lot of the background ads, cards, and technology felt very time accurate and authentic, which I always appreciate.

The soundtrack felt very moody and very “John Carpenter-esque,” which I always enjoy.

The gore in this is very effective, brutal, and realistic-feeling. Not to mention some pretty well-done CGI in a few spots (I’m sure the 8 mm look definitely helped 😂).

The second half of this movie kind of becomes a “fetch quest,” and the “supernatural mechanics” of what they’re trying to accomplish aren’t really explained, which is a little bummer because the first film, I thought, worked the supernatural into the real world pretty well and nuanced, and this felt more like “video game logic.” especially at the climax, where they throw any rules out just for some “cool moments.”

I did like Scott Derrickson’s direction; he’s very good at combining artsy with scary and gets plenty of fun, impressive, and creative shots throughout the film.

There is also a “twist” in this movie that I personally did not care for; it is very cliché, and I thought, without spoiling anything… shrunk the universe.

I have more complicated feelings about The Black Phone 2; despite strong acting and characterization, the overall filmmaking. The story, pacing, and supernatural elements felt more half-baked compared to the first one. My guess is depending on how much you like the characters in the first one will determine how much you enjoy this one, and overall the film is serviceable, but it could’ve been stronger. I give the film a low three stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️. Despite my problems, I can definitely see other people enjoying this and being entertained, so I can confidently say they didn’t… PHONE it in 😂.