Venom: The Last Dance Review

 

I saw Venom: The Last Dance, and here are my thoughts...

Eddie & Venom have to go on the run from the government and a cosmic evil and get into some shenanigans along the way. 

So this movie is sloppy, like four-day-old Chilly throwing into a lawn mower level of slop...

The first act of this movie I thought had pretty bad dialogue, just a lot of people speaking in exposition and jokes that fell flatter than a piece of paper on a pancake.

The big emphasis on Eddie & Venoms relationship is there Abbott & Costello, Ren and Stimpy comedy stylings, and Tom Hardy gives it his all playing both roles (I did enjoy him in the more down-to-earth dramatic parts), but the humor was so random and goofy. I was expecting Mickey and Donald to show up lol 

The villains are nothing... We got a “big bad"-looking space elf who spends the whole movie looking like he fell asleep taking a sh*t, an “attack of the clones"-looking crab monster, and a general who is made to look evil and mean, until you think about it for a minute and realize... he has a point. 

There are some scientists in the new and super secret “area 55" who are just there to go “but the aliens can be our friends," and it’s like, “They have to co-inhabit people's bodies against their wills and forced to eat brains, like ET, these are not. 

Juno Temple plays the scientist with a tragic backstory that she will not shut up about, and when all is said and done, she doesn’t really do much. Like they set it up, she’ll have a big part of the climax and have a character arch, but she’s pushed to the side, and her payoff makes you go, “Why was she so important?”

Radom nit pick, without spoiling anything... This movie does not know how lighting works. 

About the halfway point, there’s this family introduced, and I kind of enjoyed their scenes because the humor worked. Nothing laughed out loud, but it did put a little smile on my face, and the actors really elevate the material with their performances. Although they do come back around, so the climax can have some more personal steaks; I mean, it wouldn’t feel as personal if they weren’t there, but it was more plot convenience than organic to the story.

There’s a part in this movie where Venom knows to do this one thing because it would lead the bad guys right to them... And he does it anyway just for a wacky musical number. It’s ridiculous. It’s like “the greatest evil the universe has ever known is after us; by doing this, we would be putting all life in the universe and all our loved ones in danger... Hey Macarena !!!!”. It just really undermines the stakes.  

The climax turns into a generic 80’s Saturday morning cartoon, like bright, distinct action figures slamming into each other.  

Also, some of the big lore elements from the first movie are kind of ignored for action, sequences sake, so that was inconsistent.

They try to have a big emotional ending, not necessarily because they earned it but because this is the “last movie." It didn’t do much for me, but there was genuine emotion put in, so I appreciate the effort. 

Dude, the credits on this are f-ing ridiculous; there are like 15 minutes that lead to a dud of a post credit scene... I wrote a lot of this review during them; that’s how long they are.

So this isn’t the worst movie; it’s just more forgettable and generic than anything else, but it had a few nice moments. I give it two stars ⭐️⭐️

Saturday Night Review

 

I saw Saturday Night, here are my thoughts…

Saturday Night Live tells the story of Loren Michaels as he tries to produce the first episode of Saturday Night Live while dealing with a hectic cast, malfunctioning sets, problem after problem, and intimidating producers.

I’m not a big Saturday Night Live expert, nor do I know every person involved in the show's history (this movie has tone or name drops), but from my limited knowledge, everyone was able to capture the look and feel of the real person.

Everyone in the cast did a good job, too many great performances to call out by name or we’d be here all day, so let me say everyone from the leads to small cameos, everyone did an impressive, entertaining, and funny A+ job. 

I will say one actor did play two characters which I only realized once the credits, it was a very convincing job.

The movie reminded me of the 2015 film “Steve Jobs”, which focused on a certain amount of time for the story instead of trying to recap every major historical event. This is a good way to shake up the bio-pick genre, and let you really explore the characters and the work that went into the show.

There is a lot of plot put into this like the movie is stuffed to the brim with characters, subplots, and storylines, it almost feels too much at times. But like the show the characters are trying to produce, despite its size, the writing is tight and lean, it’s able to balance all these spinning plates and give them all good resolutions and pay off, which is tough to do, so I tip my hat to the filmmaker’s high for pulling that off. 

The pacing is top-notch, and the way it ratchets tension with the chaos and rising concerns of trying to get the show made, and the stakes of them succeeding is very effective.

But as a movie based on comedy sketch show… The movie itself is funny, mostly with characters having funny quips and reactions to things.

Jason Reitman does a lot of cool and slick directing and makes everything feel like a 70’s fast-paced documentary. Certain shots feel like they could’ve been from a '70s movie, the dude knows the period well.

The camera operators worked their butts off, there were a lot of long shots with multiple characters, which can be a hassle to plan for,  but their hard work paid off so happy for them 

Props to the sound mixing, it’s not mind-blowing or anything, but there were a lot of characters talking over each other and just loud sounds and the way it was all layered on top of each other was impressive.

This is one of the biggest surprises of the year for me, just the way everything is so tightly woven together and told in such an efficient yet stylish entertaining way… you can really everyone involved had a great passion for the project. I give it a low five stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Smile 2 Review

 

I saw Smile 2, here are my thoughts…

The film follows Skye Riley (a Taylor Swift or Dua Lipa type pop star) who has to get ready for a new tour, deal with her recovery and mental trauma, and go up against a soul-sucking demon who I will refer to as Smiley… what a workload right lol

Now to me, the best thing about this movie was the ending, I’m not gonna spoil it, but I did call it weeks ago, so it’s nice I get to be able to say the three best words in the English language… I was right, I was right, I was right lol

But seriously, the style was very effective at being creepy. It’s a mix of clinical and offsetting, which are opposing styles, but the Director finds a nice balance between the two that makes everything feel off and claustrophobic. Made you feel like you’re in the head of the main character.

Naomi Scott is an actress I really enjoy and she’s great in the film. Her character is very morally grey at some point you feel terrible for her and want to see her succeed, other points you think… Yeah honey that’s not the demon, you’re making this worse for yourself. But it’s an interesting wrinkle that keeps the story on its toes and the audience engaged.

Smiley is a mega dick. It’s one thing to haunt somebody, but at least The Exorcist demon only made you lie in bed and call people cocksuckers.  Smiley will make you look crazy and make everyone mad at you before trying to kill you… Like you’re pushing this possession thing way too hard man, you’re making Demons look unprofessional lol

Rosemary DeWitt plays Skye’s mom, who could very easily have been written as an overbearing stage mom. However, her reasons for keeping the tour going are very understandable: “We would be letting venue people down, we’d be sued for millions, we would be putting people out of work.” These are very reasonable points that add good conflict to the character.

My favorite side character was Peter Jacobson as Morris. He comes in as a helper, and he brings his very down-to-earth and sympathetic vibe to the story and helps expand the supernatural lore.

Kyle Gallagher, Lukas Gage, Dylan Gelula, and Miles Gutierrez-Riley all give very good supporting roles. Each brought a unique energy and was entertaining to watch.

Ray Nicholson (who is Jack Nicholson's son) has a small role in the film and does a good job is q. He’s getting a lot of comparisons to how he resembles his dad in the press, but honestly, if they ever make MTV’s Jackass biofilm, he’d be perfect for Bam Margera.

Another standout aspect of this film is the jump scares. Now jump scares are as old as the genre itself, and it’s very easy for them to fall into cliché or be overdone. But Smile 2 is very creative and very smart with how they implement them. You could tell they were well thought out, which I appreciated.

I don’t know much about dance choreography or am that into that, but I thought the dances that Skye performed were cool and would be entertaining at a concert.

The movie does feel a bit elongated, it’s an over two-hour film and I think it would’ve been a lot tighter if it was around 1:50… but that’s just me

There are some Swiss cheese-level plot holes. Like when you’re watching the film, they won’t bother you, but if you start to think about it and the rules of Smiley and the Demon's relation to technology, you start to realize this might not all add up.

Also without spoiling anything… This movie should not be happening based on that first scene and the rules set up… if you see it and think about it, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

I found the ending super abrupt. It’s like they knew where they wanted the movie to end, but they wrote themselves into a corner or they realized they only had 10 minutes to wrap everything up because it felt like the movie just stops and goes “… and here’s the ending, thanks for coming”. Now, like I said earlier I do like the final scene a lot, but I was just sitting there thinking “That came out of nowhere”, at least compared to where the story was before

Now I know I just gave a lot of criticism, but I walked away from the film feeling more positive than negative. It was effectively scary, had cool ideas, great performances, and kept me guessing. I’ll give it between a high three stars and a low four stars. ⭐️⭐️⭐️ or ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Terrifer 3 Review

 I saw Terrifer 3, here are my thoughts…

It’s a Holly Jolly Horror as Art the Clown brings Christmas Fear to new victims, while Sienna from the last movie copes with Yule tide trauma…

Let me just say this is not a “normal people” horror movie. This thing is gritty, grimy, dirty, and bloody as a vampire buffet. So if you're thinking “Maybe I should watch this with your parents who don’t see a lot of scary movies”… Don’t, because this takes the gore to 11.

There are plenty of fun and imaginative deaths. They mix them up, so you’re not getting a slaughterhouse each time (I’m not a huge gore hound, so I appreciate the creativity) but be prepared to see some lasagna in blender-type scenes… I do enjoy some cool deaths, and there were a couple scenes where I had to tip my hat and go… Damn, that was ARTistic lol

One of my favorite parts of the movie is the cinematography and color grading. It reminds me of the Black Christmas meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It’s been interesting to see this series' budgets grow and how much Damon Leone can stretch the budget. He’s able to make a $2 million budget look like 10 million, it’s very impressive craftsmanship, and you can see all of it on the screen.

David Howard Thornton really knows how to steal the show. He’s like a mix of Charlie Chaplin, Jim Carrey’s The Mask, and Leatherface. At one point he’ll be making you laugh with his rubber face facial contortions, but then he’ll pull out a weapon and you realize… oh no, I’m in the splash zone lol

Lauren LaVera is very impressive, having to do a lot of dramatic acting, and she feels very natural and heartfelt in her performance. She definitely puts Sienna Shaw in the pantheon of final girls, up there with Laurie Strode, Nancy Thompson, and Sidney Prescott. But for all her crying, she does still get to kick some major butt, which she could give John Wick a run for his money for.

I was really impressed with Elliot Fullam, his character Jonathan has kind of shut himself off emotionally because of all the crazy stuff in the last movie, so the actor has to do a lot of internal subtle acting, which I’ve heard from actors can be quite difficult… but he did quite an impressive job, good for him.

Samantha Scaffidi got to “evil ham” it up as the returning character Victoria, kind of becomes the Harley Quinn to Art’s Joker. She definitely brought some fun creeps to the film.

The entire supporting cast did a great job, and there are some fun cameos from horror icons, who each get a nice moment to shine.

The pacing was interesting. There was a whole lot of build-up, and the payoff came quickly like a boom. It wasn’t bad, still plenty of exciting kills and nice character moments, just be prepared for a slow burn.

They let out some more information about the lore. Not a whole lot, just a few drops, but you can tell it’s leading somewhere, they’re just playing it close to the chest.

Some plot points got mentioned so quickly they kind of flew over my head, not enough to take away from the movie, but I did have to Google one or two things afterward.

There was something that happened in the third act that I was not a fan of, it was just anti-climactic and disappointing, given what it was, and what it meant… now there is a good chance of this getting rectified in a sequel, and I hope so. But for now… tsk tsk.

I’m not gonna spoil anything, but you can tell they want to make a Part 4, which I do not like… making me wait? Are you out of your mind? I’m incredibly impatient, why are you going do me like that Art? lol

Overall, despite a few hiccups and small issues, this movie has a lot of creativity, passion, talent, memorable scenes, and great acting, and is not easily forgettable… for better and worse lol I give it a high four stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Apprentice Review

 I saw The Apprentice, here are my thoughts…

The film tells the story of Donald Trump’s relationship with his mentor Roy Cohen and his rise in business…

Now, biopics are tricky subjects. You’re trying to tell a real-life story while also being an entertaining movie. I’ve seen plenty of films trip over themselves trying to ride that line… but I’m happy to say this one can balance that line of historical events and character arcs cohesively, and it’s mostly accomplished by two things…

First, the filmmaking: It starts off with a very 70s document “Scorsese” feel (which the movie makes direct reference to by having montages of news footage from the time). It’s high energy, kind of wild, and gives you this whirlwind party feel that draws you in, the same way Trump is being drawn into the world of high business…

Then we get to the 80s, and everything has a gaudy high society neon mixed with a static monochrome look to everything (some points feel exactly like you’re watching somebody’s home movies they filmed on their digital camcorder)…

This leads us to the second thing… the performances: Sebastian Stan gives an Oscar-caliber performance as Donald Trump. He did a great job showing Trump's mannerisms and looks without it coming off like an impression. He brings a sort of innocence and underdog feel to early Trump, which humanizes him… but then the story turns into a parable, where the more success he gets the less of the soul he has, and it’s oddly compelling watching this guy basically kill parts of himself in the name of his ego (which hey, the slickly digital look reflects the ugliness of his actions… That’s poetic irony) lol

Jeremy Strong does a very good job as Roy Cohn. He brings intense charisma and sleight humor to the role, despite the fact he’s playing one of the sleaziest lawyers you’ll ever see, the dude makes Saul Goodman look like Atticus Finch. 

But like Sebastian Stan, he brings a humanity to the character by the end, and that’s what’s interesting about this movie… Now let me be clear, this is a “fall to the dark side” story, but we explore the two men’s psychology and humanity in such a way that you understand why they are the way they are, you may not agree with it, but you understand it… and combining a biopic with a character study is a very interesting way to go about it.

Maria Bakalova does an excellent job as Ivana Trump, she brings a sweetness and charm to the role that was enjoyable and impressive.

Also, Charlie Carrick as Fred Trump Jr. really impressed me, every time he was on the screen,I just wanted to give us character a hug.

I did not recognize Martin Donovan as Fred Trump Sr., big props to him and his performance.

For all your history buffs, there’s a scene where Donald Trump meets Andy Warhol… it’s as awkward as you think it would be lol

I do have a few issues with the movie… The second half could’ve been a bit tighter, they left a few dangling storylines and started to lose focus and relied on the “hit the major highlights” that many biopics do… it’s not too bad, but it can feel like you’re listening to a history lesson more than watching a movie. Luckily it’s never too distracting, just more noticeable than in the first half.

Plus, I wish Ivana had gotten more of a wrap-up to her character, we just sort of leave her and one point… and that’s it.

Also, they make some allusions to his future political career that lack any subtlety. It feels like I got hit in the face with not only the frying pan but the hot grease in it lol

On top of that… they did not show him filming his cameo Home Alone II: Lost in New York… huge missed opportunity lol

But I was pleasantly surprised by The Apprentice, I wasn’t expecting much from a “Donald Trump” movie, but the way it explored the characters and gave everything a distinct style, and just the overall storytelling was very interesting, commendable, and kept my attention… I give it a low for stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Joker: Folie à Deux Review

 I saw Joker: Folie à Deux, here are my thoughts…

The Joker (Arthur) starts a musical romance with a fellow inmate while attending his trial for the events of the first film…

The best thing about this movie is the direction/style. The way it sets the mood, camera movements, cinematography, performances, color grading, and even the soundtrack is Oscar-quality. I really have to tip my hat to the craftsmanship.

Great cast: Joaquin Phoenix gives a very layered and highly emotional performance as good as the first one, Lady Gaga uses the most screen time to provide an equally interesting performance. Brendan Gleeson was a nice surprise, Catherine Keener and Harry Lawtey gave solid supporting roles. But the big surprise is Leigh Gill (Arthur's former work friend). If they gave out Oscars for characters who only had one scene, this guy would win because he really acts his ass off and stole the movie for a bit.

But what really matters is the story, I mean you can dress something up to the nines, but what really counts is what’s wearing the suit, and the story has its ups and downs and mixed quality.

So there are three parts to the film:

The first half was kind of muddled, I won’t say bad, I just kind of loose with the storytelling. We just sort of hang out with Arthur, see what daily life in prison is like… and it’s bleak and depressing, and nobody likes to spend long sequences being bleak and depressed, no matter how well it’s done (which it is).

Then Arthur meets Harley, and while they don’t have a Bad Romance… ;) I will say it’s very surface-level infatuation. Very “I like you, your sweet, you make me feel special”, just kind of puppy love basic.

I do wish Lady Gaga had more screen time. There’s just a lot going on with her character that could go to some interesting places, but the movie doesn’t take advantage of her as much as I’d hope.

We start getting musical bits, which are good. I’m not a big musical guy, so I’m not the best person to ask, but I thought they were well done and I liked their minimalism.

Second half we get to the trial, and Arthur’s Joker side starts coming out, the story starts picking up steam, and Joker and Harley have fun dance banter, I’m getting into it… although I will say this is one of the worst movie Judge’s I’ve ever seen. I know nothing of law, but this Judge lets so many things happen that even a brick wall would know you can’t get away with lol

But I’m having fun. So I’m like “Am I the odd man out?”, because people are hating on this flick, and I think it’s ok so far… not a home run, but it’s getting on base.

Then the third act happens, and the film just throws up its hands and goes “I got nothing”…. I’m surprised the characters literally didn’t pull an “I don’t know “emoji and go 🤷‍♂️ 

I don’t want to spoil anything, but to keep it vague to say my point… a certain character has a change, which felt out of character for what had been set up in the story… probably not the one you're thinking of, but close.

Todd Phillips was overall trying to make a point about the type of people who would become obsessed with a person like Arthur, which I get and give him points… but it’s certainly not satisfying, so you walk out of the theater feeling empty.

I didn’t know where else to put this, but there are different wards inside the asylum, and Arthur is staying in the B Ward. Which I’m sure is a reference to Burt Ward who played Robin in the 60s Batman show… I always love a good Batman ‘66 reference

Also, the film opens with a Ralph Bakshi-style recap of the first one, which I liked. It fits the time period and is stylish looking. 

So in summation, while I appreciate some of the swings the movie takes, and it was impressive and enjoyable in parts, it eventually just falls on its face with a loud dud, and I’m just sitting there, not mad, just going… huh, well that didn’t come together. I give it a very high two stars ⭐️⭐️